The "ah-ha" moment for me is this. The messy middle is exactly where you are supposed to be.
I am SO excited to show you my new office!
I love the fact that now I can stand or walk and work! It was time for me to make a change and start moving more. But my 9-5 wasn't always like this...
It is coming up two years since I left my j.o.b. working in the fitness industry. As a programmer and fitness instructor I got a fair bit of activity. It was a good gig but my heart was whispering that I was meant to be of service to others in a different way. It took a huge leap of faith to leave stable employment for something a little less predictable but I followed my heart and became a transformational coach. (This is another story... stay tuned for that one.)
So here I am (almost) two years later and a lot softer shall we say? Yes. Somehow I can write that without wanting to hide under a rock. Saying this is much worse...
I left my job teaching fitness classes and gained weight.
Jeeze, that's hard to admit (again, I will save the pain of the vulnerability of sharing my weight up's and down's for another post). I have never been the Julian Michaels type (physically speaking) but I was always one of those "chubby but fit" types. Sadly, the truth is there is a lot more sitting in the coaching industry than there is teaching group fitness. Coach, read, write, repeat. I have tried to get creative with my fitness equipment, I even had a shelf built for treadmill to hold my laptop so I could type and walk, but looking down at my screen was bothering my neck. So that went out the window too.
Fast forward many months later and I am looking at this thing (thing being my treadmill) and saying to myself, "use it or lose it". Feeling inspired, I went out the other day and picked up a wireless keyboard, mounted a shelf for my laptop and hung a lovely vision board for my creative quotes and inspirations.
It was time to claim my space, fix something that wasn't working and do something different.
And by this, I am not only talking about my workspace. I mean me too. Time to reclaim my body, it's incredible imperfections and embrace this opportunity to emerge from my cocoon. I have speant two years in a 'personal growth hibernation'. Learning more and more about who I want to be in the world but this growth has happened on the inside.
Is it ok that my physical body has seen the consequences of this deep internal exploration?
I can view the weight gain as a painful reminder that I couldn't do it all (heal, grow, learn and exercise). OR I could focus on what this two years has meant to my spritual and emotional evolution and embrace who I am right now know knowing that my journey has only just begun. My body will change as I explore this new way of being and what types of movement feel good to HER. On the other hand, there is a chance my body won't change much at all and maybe that's ok too.
What do you say to a sleigh load of presence this holiday?
Have you ever made it though Christmas morning and felt empty? Almost like there was something missing. It's like a sugar rush. The whole holiday season can feel like a huge build up of expectation and promise. The child-like anticipation builds until Christmas morning and when the gifts are opened and it's time to move on, there can be a strange feeling of 'let down'. The Christmas crash. You don't feel like you thought you would. The heart-filled joy is missing.
I believe this is because our hearts are yearning for more than the 'stuff'.
We want connection.
Take a look at this IKEA commercial. It says a mouthful. (Just grab the tissues first.)
The best gift of all is our time.
But it may just be the hardest gift to give. It is so much easier to give our kids stuff rather than our time.
This weekend millions of people will stand in lines, spending billions of dollars on good deals for their families. I encourage you to think about this as you wait for your Latte then hit the mall running...
What fills your heart with JOY?
Take a moment to think about this and notice how that heart-filled joy feels. Then use it as a check-in when you are thinking about the next place to stop and shop. Does it feel right? Is there something else that wants to be given? Is there something else you want to receive? More love? More time? More connection? What can you give this year that deeply resonates with that joyful feeling?
Here are some suggestions that might make your giving feel more authentic...
- Give in a bigger way. Donate to a toy drive, collect food for a shelter, help out someone on the street. DO THIS WITH YOUR KIDS. Allow them to feel the joy of giving.
- Ask your kids, "What is the best gift you could get that doesn't cost money?" (I suggest this because I asked my kids what they want from Santa and what they want from us and I just got two different shopping lists...). Finding out what is meaningful and heartfelt for your kids will take you a long way on the journey to an authentic holiday.
- Organize some activities that involve your presence. Plan a game night, go skiing, visit neighbours as a family, or have a device free evening. Rediscover the joy of each others company.
- Eliminate distractions. Ask family members to turn off phones at the holiday table. Make a game out of it if you need to.
- Create some family traditions that don't involve gifts. In our house, we celebrate winter solstice by decorating our gratitude tree...