On Wednesday, I shared some thoughts about a challenging stage of our transformational journey. You know who you want to become, you know what actions are in service of this new way of being and yet, you find yourself falling into the same patterns or 'holes' so to speak.
I was touched to hear that this resonated with so many of you. Yesterday I was asked this powerful question and I was inspired to follow up with you.
What if you feel you are re-living 'Day Two' on a daily basis?
It's a great question. And believe me, there are times that I wake up and feel that I am starting over EVERY SINGLE DAY! And although it is essential that we do our best to look at these days with a little perspective and allow ourselves the space to acknowledge where we are in our journey with as little judgement as possible (and maybe some loving-kindness and compassion if we can muster it), it would be helpful to know what the hell to do!
Once we have had this new experience of who we want to be and how we want to behave and we still drop back into some less than preferred patterns, it can be really painful. One thing that may be helpful to remember is that for lack of a better term, this new way of being (right now in your process) is a new 'habit'. As you carve this new path, it may simply be a matter of patience and practice until it becomes more easeful.
Imagine you are in a thick dark forest. Your old way of being is a clear path, it's very easy to follow but this new path, although you can see the trail along the ground (because really, it was there all along, but that's another blog post), it is overgrown with vines, weeds and plants. It is going to take come time to carve out this new path and get all that stuff out of the way before you can travel with as much ease as the old way. So...
How can you be patient with yourself?
What would your heart tell you to do in those moments? Sit still for a moment and listen. Imagine yourself in that hole. What does your heart tell you? Does it say, "It's okay dear one, I've got you." or "Forgive yourself, you are human. You are perfectly imperfect." Whatever it is, take heed.
Here is something else you can keep in mind too. In order to carve this new path (I am sweating just thinking about it), you need strength and endurance of the mind. You need to be able to say, "HECK YES!" to your new self, your new habits and choices. So, in order to have the strength to let the 'old' path fill in and to consistently work on removing what is in the way of the new path, I invite you to explore what would support you on your journey. (Sorry sister, but you can't go this one alone.)
What or WHO fills you up?
Now make a list. For me, it's walking in nature, finding that connection to something bigger than myself somehow makes it all seem doable. I also practice meditation and woman's Kundalini Yoga. This is my church. I can take that time to hold myself in this new light. I can experience ME in my truest form for at least a brief period of time. Most importantly, I will reach out for some coaching when I need to be held in that transformative space. It is so valuable to me to have a witness on my journey and a coach does this in a loving, non-judgemental way. Someone to really see me as I AM and reflect her back to me.
It takes time for us to shed the skin of old and dawn our new self. It can take some of us years. Remember, some of these patterns have been with us since birth. Some are generational, so they will take some tender loving attention and kindness in order to be released.